The Shreking Hour
by SergeantIC
Summary: Embark in an emotional journey with Felix, Shrek, and Madonna as they face many difficult decisions and problems in their forever existing eternity. "It's the most shrektastic story I've ever read." Says Madonna herself. "What the f!@k is this s@?t?" Shrek remarks Shrek is love. Shrek is life. I will answer ANY questions at any cost for anybody!
1. Him

When I was a little boy, Madonna whispered to me, "Felix. Oh Felix. Felix. Why don't you pick some daisies with me?"

I rejected her and flipped her off. She then said, "never ogrestimate me!"

I turned around and said, " is that really you?"

No. It can't be. Madonna was Shrek this whole time. She flipped me off and yelled,"BASTARD!"

I replied,"momma."

We then both flipped each other off. Then we turned around and started to pick daisies.

This story isn't Ogre yet...


	2. Thoughts

Madonna look at me. I knew what she was thinking. I growl and say,"ocean view!"

She was scared. I was crying. She then rushed toward me and flipped me off. I bit her ear. She yelled,"why sister!?"

I replied,"you and me are Suns."

She then whispered in my ear,"f !k you and the rabbits!"

I jumped up and flew to superman's rape chamber. No. I was too late. Madonna beat me. We both flipped each other off. Then I said,"let's go pick daisies you white shrimp di $ fu k nugget!"

She turned and nodded yes.

This story isn't ogre...


	3. Time Travel

Madonna went back through time today. She looked so ugly. Then again, they say if you want a rabbit, you have to grabbit. Madonna new she wasn't prepared for inventing the middle finger. So I invented it instead. She then look at me with these dog eyes. I flipped her off while crying. She then said," sail off sailor!"

I then replied," welcome home dad."

She then grabbed me and through me into a life size Shrek plushy toy.

She flipped me off. Right after that, batman came into the room. Madonna reacted quickly and threw a daisy knife into his head. While she was distracted, I tackled her and said,"hello."

I flipped her off. She was laughing. While her mouth was open, I put a nuke in her mouth and detonated it. I escaped. Madonna didn't. I never saw her again. I kept on moving while flipping off everyone I see and saying,"mother is my only ocean."

This story isn't ogre yet...


	4. Dreams

I was in bed one night sleeping. I was having a wonderful dream. Then, I saw Madonna pictures and flashbacks coming to me. I was freaking out. I woke up. Breathing heavily. I...I...I didn't know what was going on. Then I look to my right. Ah. My Shrek shrine. I got up and flipped it off. I said," shrek, what is going on?" Then I heard one of Madonnas song play in my room. It was "Like A Virgin" playing. I was so happy. I started to draw. I made a lot of paintings of hands flipping each other off. It was beautiful. Then morning came. I said," screw you uncle." Then a whale jumped up by my window in front of the sun flipping me off. I was smiling. Then I saw the sun again. No. It can't be. Madonnas face was on the sun. From all these signs, is she coming back? Oh god to flipping each other off. What is going on? I'm scared.

This story isn't ogre yet...


	5. The Onion Effect

I left to go shopping today at Shrektastic Market. I bought a lot of onions. As I left though, I saw the two security guards look at me with fierce looks. I heard one of them say to the other, "Hail Madonna."

I was scared. So scared and happy. I flipped both of them off and they both tickled each. The lady next to them joined as well. I went back to my house. What the SHREK!? All of my paintings of hands flipping each other off have all turned into Madonna faces and her flipping me off! I went to the telephone. What? It turned into a Banana? I flipped it off and made a little Banana shrine right afterwards. It was glorious. Then a Banana and an Onion came towards me. They grew arms. They flipped me off and started to tickle me. I was so happy. Then they chanted my name. "Xilef. Xilef. Xilef."

Then they turned into those two guards from earlier. I was so happy. Then they grabbed me and threw me through a portal.

OH MY SHREKING BANANA!

OH MY SHREKING BANANA!

IT'S YOU!

This story isn't ogre yet...


	6. Changes

I...I...I...I...I saw her. She was flipping me off. I was so mad. How did she survive? How did she find me? I was so mad. I found a banana next to me and threw it into her mouth. She ate it. She said, " That was Shrektastic!" She laughed and flipped me off right in my face. I got up and ran to her. I tackled her. Then a Banana God came. He both asked us for one wish.

I said," I want my onion grenade."

Madonna said," I want my microphone."

She started singing and I was blinded. Then I got my onion grenade and ran up to her. We both said at the same time," I love you!"

Everything suddenly stopped. I saw her holding something. It...it...it was my onion grenade! I was so happy I started to play the banjo. Then she said, "It's all ogre now!"..."NO!" "It is never ogre!" I grabbed something of her and threw her off of me I grabbed the onion grenade and held it up. I'm about to throw it...

This story isn't ogre yet...

The everything froze in an instant. I was mad. Madonna was sad. Then the banana God came and showed us flashbacks of all the times we had fun with each other. For example, when I flipped of Madonna and blew her to pieces. That was great. I was so happy and Madonna was too. Then everything went back to normal. Is this what I wanted to do? Kill her and blow her up again? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Yes.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!? ﾟﾔﾥ? ﾟﾔﾥ? ﾟﾒﾥ? ﾟﾒﾥ? ﾟﾔﾥ? ﾟﾒﾥ? ﾟﾒﾥ? ﾟﾒﾥ? ﾟﾔﾥ? ﾟﾔﾥ? ﾟﾒﾥ

I was so happy I could eat a leprechaun. So I grabbed my uncle and ate him. My uncle is a leprechaun. I think. Well this was a shrektastic moment in history. I went back to the world. I started to sing the song Happy Birthday To You. Then that is when I noticed I had a weirder voice than before. I'm not myself. Oh shrek. Oh my shrek. I'm...

This story isn't ogre yet.


End file.
